Today at work was a varying array of tedious boredom with little interesting incidents being reported, however there are always those that come along just to make you wonder why you bother and contemplate a cartoon strip where these people are escaping from a giant evolutionary Darwin based death. Today's prize winning exemplar of stupidity is for the following exchange
Customer: 'I phoned up 5minutes ago about accessing my documents off campus, and was told to remote desktop to xxx.xxxx.com but it doesn't seem to be working. Can you help me?
Me: 'Do you have and are you connected to the Internet?'
Customer: 'No, do i need to be?'
Me: 'yeah, then you shouldn't have any problems'
Customer: 'Ok Thanks bye'
Me: 'bye'
At this point i put the phone down and just stare at it in complete disbelief, I am fully aware that this is currently university resit period and we have many instances like this especially at this time of year. But really what do they expect me to say 'No, you don't need an Internet connection - the Internet works just like magic pixies carrying lumps of data in there back and fly off to there destination very very quickly. I'll let you in on a secret - the Internet cable, telephone socket, modem etc are all just empty boxes purely for decoration to make us technical staff look like we know what we are doing'
This also helps making me think that sometimes the customers just contact us purely for social interaction or to give us something to do, its like we as IT staff are zoo animals that need occasional petting or affection to continue our demoralizing existence just changing passwords and trying not to offend people that probably use post it notes to remember how to breathe.
Friday, 6 August 2010
Tuesday, 27 July 2010
Sticky Fingers, no cutlery.... a Medievil Banquet Expierence
A Couple of my friends have recently celebrated there 21st birthdays, one of which decided to invite me to a medieval banquet at Coombe Abbey last Saturday. When ever i mentioned to anyone that i was going they kept commenting about how you have to eat without cutlery. When it comes to dining and food i can be quite ocd about certain things, one of which is cutlery, so the banquet was an interesting experience.
When you first arrive you are lead into a bar / reception area by staff members dressed in period dress, the bar is decorated with medieval shields, flags, coats of arms and wooden tables. As well as members of staff being dressed up many of the guests also dress up, and for those that know me i have a real like for the medieval times and there style of formal dress. (I really want a medieval robe ;P)
Eventually after waiting we are called into the banquet hall which resembles something traditional, as such seen on TV in various programs. There were rows of large wooden tables and benches leading up to the royal families bench, and on the opposite side a stage / performance area all lit by candle light. Throughout the various courses of our meal there are songs and acting scenes taking place on the stage which all helps to give you a realistic atmosphere but with a but of a sex obsessed comical twist.
So now we come to discuss the food :)
In front of each person was a dagger (knife), A Goblet of wine, another of mead and a small bowl of water to wash your fingers in, this lack of cutlery and potential mess while eating starts to disturb me. The first course is served as 'abbots broth' a thick vegetable soup served with portions of crusty bread, which tasted rather like Heinz vegetable soup. Here within lies the first challenge of eating, a bowl of hot soup served with only bread to which I'm secretly hoping will allow me to eat it all, but alas through lack of a spoon based luxury i have to resort from drinking (slurping) from the bowl. It felt so uncivilized
Second course was 'The Royal Rib' - a rib of pork marinated in sage, cider and honey. It had a brilliant taste and the quality of the meat seemed good, although again it posed another challenge. I do not like getting my fingers plastered in greasy or sticky substances while eating, so trying to eat a rib in a honey marinade was most problematic, i managed to avoid touching it for the most part carefully dissecting with a knife before eventually i had to relent and use my fingers. Following this course you then dip your fingers in the water and smear them down yourself (you are given a towel type of bib to wear), trying desperately smearing my fingers down myself to clean them, i was so tempted to wipe them down the couple next to me - they seemed horrifically moody and irritated by the whole experience - plus smearing it down them would of been more satisfying.
Third course was 'My Barons Chicken' - A quarter of roast chicken seasoned with mace, tarragon, black pepper and a lemon and mead marinade, the taste was a little subdued but the chicken was perfectly cooked Served along side it was a whole roast potato and salad. But eating it proved a challenge, just try eating chicken with only a knife, but that wasn't the most comical moment. A simple roast potato which you try and butter and eat with only a knife, eventually i cut it into quarters and was just having to pick it up and place it directly into my face.
Pudding was 'Coombe abbey apple crumble' - apple and apricot crumble with elderflower cream, a perfect way to end a rather filling meal, and this pudding was served with the rarest and most luxurious item of all a spoon!.
I would thoroughly recommend the whole experience because of the laughs and entertainment factor, and for the sake of a one off something different night out £40 is reasonable. Overall it was a very enjoyable evening especially at the end when my friend had to stand up and have happy birthday sang to her by the whole room.
p.s. I also discovered that mead is really really nice, and i will have to try it again many times in future.
When you first arrive you are lead into a bar / reception area by staff members dressed in period dress, the bar is decorated with medieval shields, flags, coats of arms and wooden tables. As well as members of staff being dressed up many of the guests also dress up, and for those that know me i have a real like for the medieval times and there style of formal dress. (I really want a medieval robe ;P)
Eventually after waiting we are called into the banquet hall which resembles something traditional, as such seen on TV in various programs. There were rows of large wooden tables and benches leading up to the royal families bench, and on the opposite side a stage / performance area all lit by candle light. Throughout the various courses of our meal there are songs and acting scenes taking place on the stage which all helps to give you a realistic atmosphere but with a but of a sex obsessed comical twist.
So now we come to discuss the food :)
In front of each person was a dagger (knife), A Goblet of wine, another of mead and a small bowl of water to wash your fingers in, this lack of cutlery and potential mess while eating starts to disturb me. The first course is served as 'abbots broth' a thick vegetable soup served with portions of crusty bread, which tasted rather like Heinz vegetable soup. Here within lies the first challenge of eating, a bowl of hot soup served with only bread to which I'm secretly hoping will allow me to eat it all, but alas through lack of a spoon based luxury i have to resort from drinking (
Second course was 'The Royal Rib' - a rib of pork marinated in sage, cider and honey. It had a brilliant taste and the quality of the meat seemed good, although again it posed another challenge. I do not like getting my fingers plastered in greasy or sticky substances while eating, so trying to eat a rib in a honey marinade was most problematic, i managed to avoid touching it for the most part carefully dissecting with a knife before eventually i had to relent and use my fingers. Following this course you then dip your fingers in the water and smear them down yourself (you are given a towel type of bib to wear), trying desperately smearing my fingers down myself to clean them, i was so tempted to wipe them down the couple next to me - they seemed horrifically moody and irritated by the whole experience - plus smearing it down them would of been more satisfying.
Third course was 'My Barons Chicken' - A quarter of roast chicken seasoned with mace, tarragon, black pepper and a lemon and mead marinade, the taste was a little subdued but the chicken was perfectly cooked Served along side it was a whole roast potato and salad. But eating it proved a challenge, just try eating chicken with only a knife, but that wasn't the most comical moment. A simple roast potato which you try and butter and eat with only a knife, eventually i cut it into quarters and was just having to pick it up and place it directly into my face.
Pudding was 'Coombe abbey apple crumble' - apple and apricot crumble with elderflower cream, a perfect way to end a rather filling meal, and this pudding was served with the rarest and most luxurious item of all a spoon!.
I would thoroughly recommend the whole experience because of the laughs and entertainment factor, and for the sake of a one off something different night out £40 is reasonable. Overall it was a very enjoyable evening especially at the end when my friend had to stand up and have happy birthday sang to her by the whole room.
p.s. I also discovered that mead is really really nice, and i will have to try it again many times in future.
Saturday, 3 July 2010
Wahoo Degree :)
The other day this week i passed my university course, to be awarded a Bachelor of Science with First Class Honours in Computer science. For some reason i had this feeling that i would suddenly feel 'clever', intellectual and intelligent the moment i achieved a degree.
But quite the opposite; it may still be sinking in but i still feel the same as before no more or less cleverer although now proud that i hold a degree, it seems like nothing in my life has changed because of it.
I would like to say this though, the third and final year (this year) has probably been the most influential to me socially and to my life in general. I have met many people over the course of my degree that have all had a impression on my life, but more so some of the closest friends that i have made this year. This year i seem more concerned with being myself as opposed to worrying about others all the time, for once i can do things for myself. I don't mean this in a self centered away but i was often to concerned about others views of me that i used to live in there shadows and restrictions. Thanks to these new friends and new parts of my life i am now confident enough to be myself.
Although I am never sure on emotions and feelings as they cant be rationalised. I can say with some level of certainty that i am actually happy at the moment, and this year wouldn't of been such a turning point in my life if it wasn't from the support from some of my weekend library colleagues, new friends from the LGBT+ Society and of course my old friends that have been there for me all the time.
I am not quite sure where i shall head in the future, i have to stay working for my current employers due to them funding my degree, but to pursue a masters (or another post graduate qualification), focus on industry qualifications or look for promotion opportunities we shall see, but for now I'm more than happy for a rest and to spend time with those that are closest to me :) (and they know who they are).
But quite the opposite; it may still be sinking in but i still feel the same as before no more or less cleverer although now proud that i hold a degree, it seems like nothing in my life has changed because of it.
I would like to say this though, the third and final year (this year) has probably been the most influential to me socially and to my life in general. I have met many people over the course of my degree that have all had a impression on my life, but more so some of the closest friends that i have made this year. This year i seem more concerned with being myself as opposed to worrying about others all the time, for once i can do things for myself. I don't mean this in a self centered away but i was often to concerned about others views of me that i used to live in there shadows and restrictions. Thanks to these new friends and new parts of my life i am now confident enough to be myself.
Although I am never sure on emotions and feelings as they cant be rationalised. I can say with some level of certainty that i am actually happy at the moment, and this year wouldn't of been such a turning point in my life if it wasn't from the support from some of my weekend library colleagues, new friends from the LGBT+ Society and of course my old friends that have been there for me all the time.
I am not quite sure where i shall head in the future, i have to stay working for my current employers due to them funding my degree, but to pursue a masters (or another post graduate qualification), focus on industry qualifications or look for promotion opportunities we shall see, but for now I'm more than happy for a rest and to spend time with those that are closest to me :) (and they know who they are).
Wednesday, 23 June 2010
Simplier to use as the Users get simplier
It always astounds me the large volume of people who's documents have excessive amounts of line returns in them.
It would seem that as office has got simpler to use, the users have got simpler. Instead of using some of the modern conventions like page breaks, a god for large documents some of them seem persistent to use blank lines.
I fail to understand how they are willing to tolerate the annoyances of re-doing each page and formatting each time they go back to make an edit, in future i am going to force feed the culprit an enter key taken fresh from multiple keyboards for each pointless line in there document.
It would seem that as office has got simpler to use, the users have got simpler. Instead of using some of the modern conventions like page breaks, a god for large documents some of them seem persistent to use blank lines.
I fail to understand how they are willing to tolerate the annoyances of re-doing each page and formatting each time they go back to make an edit, in future i am going to force feed the culprit an enter key taken fresh from multiple keyboards for each pointless line in there document.
Tuesday, 22 June 2010
Deathstars and Sybreed - O2 Academy Birmingham
Sunday 20th June 2010 7:30pm @ O2 Academy Birmingham
One of the bands i have been interested in for a while, and relatively unheard of; Sybreed. Were supporting deathstars in a gig at the O2 academy a few nights ago. Both me and my cousin decided to go along, and to be honest we were more interested in the supporting act than the head liners but for the sake of £12 a ticket it was worth it.
When we got there before the doors opened at 7 there were two separate 2 queues, but with start contrasts. The first queue seemed a lot more indie/townie/prep'y right next to a queue where the only colour was the blues, greens and pinks of peoples hair, everything else was black. While waiting in the queue the singer of Sybreed walked past us, i only recognised his face from download a few weeks ago, and wouldn't of minded getting an autograph, but hey ho. Once the doors opened and we showed the tickets we went into the room, which was quite small compared to what I was expecting, but once the bands started it was rather comfortable as there wasn't massive crowds.
I Cannot remember the name of the first band, but they didn't really interest me so i just stood there mildly amusing myself with the loading and weight restriction signs on the ceiling, until eventually they arrived...
Sybreed, there set was as good as at download, probably better as I got to see it full. Throughout the crowds there were little pockets of people that had obviously came for Sybreed as much as deathstars and i think everyone that went will of left with a new band to research, which is impressive considering its only there third UK show. Go Research Sybreed now, go on! (maybe after you finish reading this post though :P)
(Sybreed - Doomsday party is a good catchy classic, and always gets a crowd moving - have a listen :] )
Next on came deathstars, they met up to the rumours i had heard about them putting on a very good show, the lead singer kept reminding me of a cross dressing friend of mine. Deathstars were able to keep the crowd wanting more throughout while each of there band went on a mild ego/power trip but the distinctive style of music combined with showmanship made for a performance with a difference.
I would certainly recommend going to see both Deathstars and Sybreed, with the latter bringing big things to the metal community in the near future.
One of the bands i have been interested in for a while, and relatively unheard of; Sybreed. Were supporting deathstars in a gig at the O2 academy a few nights ago. Both me and my cousin decided to go along, and to be honest we were more interested in the supporting act than the head liners but for the sake of £12 a ticket it was worth it.
When we got there before the doors opened at 7 there were two separate 2 queues, but with start contrasts. The first queue seemed a lot more indie/townie/prep'y right next to a queue where the only colour was the blues, greens and pinks of peoples hair, everything else was black. While waiting in the queue the singer of Sybreed walked past us, i only recognised his face from download a few weeks ago, and wouldn't of minded getting an autograph, but hey ho. Once the doors opened and we showed the tickets we went into the room, which was quite small compared to what I was expecting, but once the bands started it was rather comfortable as there wasn't massive crowds.
I Cannot remember the name of the first band, but they didn't really interest me so i just stood there mildly amusing myself with the loading and weight restriction signs on the ceiling, until eventually they arrived...
Sybreed, there set was as good as at download, probably better as I got to see it full. Throughout the crowds there were little pockets of people that had obviously came for Sybreed as much as deathstars and i think everyone that went will of left with a new band to research, which is impressive considering its only there third UK show. Go Research Sybreed now, go on! (maybe after you finish reading this post though :P)
(Sybreed - Doomsday party is a good catchy classic, and always gets a crowd moving - have a listen :] )
Next on came deathstars, they met up to the rumours i had heard about them putting on a very good show, the lead singer kept reminding me of a cross dressing friend of mine. Deathstars were able to keep the crowd wanting more throughout while each of there band went on a mild ego/power trip but the distinctive style of music combined with showmanship made for a performance with a difference.
I would certainly recommend going to see both Deathstars and Sybreed, with the latter bringing big things to the metal community in the near future.
Friday, 18 June 2010
Download Festival 2010 - The captive reality bubble.
Over its time the festival have seen some proper legends play, such as Iron Maiden, Metallica Linkin Park, Guns N' Roses and many more, just check it out on wikipedia or the festival website.
I have been 3 times, 2007, 2009 and 2010 and each time had an amazing time. A break from normality a bubble if you will from current affairs, news and politics where all that matters is good honest rock, metal and silly costumes.
This years festival took place once again on the hallowed pilgrimage grounds of Donnington between the 9th - 14th June. Leading up to this years festival me and my friend where having mild crisis moments trying to sort out travel, a tent and other logistics which really was only sorted out properly the night before. We set out for the usual 5 day camping affair so arriving on Wednesday. So for the full 5 day excursion i packed flapjack, cereal bars and a crate or 2 of strong bow. Alongside the traditional hygiene kit - Wet wipes, Deodorant and a comb.
Wednesday
Woke up early on Wednesday rather excited to have my last shower for nearly a week, (you wouldn't believe how horrible it is to not have a shower or use simple things like hairdryers or hair straighteners). Upon arriving at the site we get out of the car and dash across with all our stuff, and out of all 100,000 people going we bump into a few other friends!
After queuing for a while we get issued with wristbands, and find a spot within the blue campsite. We had our tents pitched, beers open and settled by 2pm, not bad 4 Hours form leaving to setting up :). This years wristbands design were quite poor from the previous years, a simple black on grey, although they were a lot more comfortable to sleep on.
Thursday
Every Thursday i seem to forget what happens in the day time, its only really the evening when i start to remember, ironically because i get beveraged up. Me and my friend started drinking from mid afternoon and continued right up until about 1am hitting the wine at various points in time to enjoy the heightened drunkenness from mixing drinks. This is where the village comes in to its own, a mixture of overpriced poor quality food combined with overpriced fair ground rides. It would thoroughly recommend to any drunks out there going on a fun house, the waltzers or bumper cars (remember its the only time you can legally drive drunk), and with seeing double its more of a shock when you actually hit something.
Friday
Fridays main attraction were the one and only AC/DC who agreed to give a separate concert after download had closed for the day, they were that impressive they brought there own stage, sound and lighting equipment which overshadowed downloads own.
- 36 Crazyfists were the first band i recall actually paying attention to, and lived up to the expectations as i am a fan but it was complemented beautifully when Howard Jones (From killswitch engage) joined the stage. His first public appearance since having to leave for medical reasons. Although i can imagine how disheartening it must be when everyone is chanting for him more than the main band.
- Killswitch engage were the second and my favourite band to tear up the Donnington stage delivering a sound performance as expected with Adam D running around in his usual cape, ending with there cover of holy diver as tributes to the recent passing of Ronnie James Dio.
- AC/DC then followed on there own stage delivering one of the most powerful and amazing sets i have ever seen. My dad has watched them perform at Donnington in his youth making this a strange right of passage for me. There set featured the hells bell, a steam locomotive, the inflatable Rosie with all there world smashing hits, it was pure music for a purely excited and hyped crowd for something which could be a once in a life time opportunity.
After this an early night is in order, its surprising how tiring it is watching bands perform all day.
Saturday
Most of the music on Saturday wasn't really to my taste, but its a great time to truly experience a festival both in stores, bars, the people and discovering new bands.
- Godsized, i had never heard of them before but there music was reasonably heavy and i think that they could over the next few years become more and more prevalent.
- Sybreed, I am so stoked about seeing this band live in a few weeks, again one of my favourite bands. Although i arrived to only hear the last few songs of there set, it was a small taster of what is to come this weekend when they are supporting Deathstars at the Birmingham O2 Academy
- Rage against the machine, they delivered a good set although i admit there not one of my favourite bands.
Sunday
Sunday is usually a rock chill out day, so playing some of the old classical types of rock, a good way to end a long weekend.
- Dommin, a band i had never heard of but presented a nice mix of keyboard and rock, although not exactly heavy have some very good songs and would be interested to keep an eye on them to see how they develop.
- Aerosmith closed download 2010 by playing all there famous hits on a stage with lights and glamorous shiny clothing making it a perfect end with the entire crowd singing along perfectly happy and enjoying everything.
This year was the first time i have stopped Sunday night, what is rumoured to be the dangerous night, there were fire trucks and security staff patrolling most of the night, with loud rowdy drunks everywhere. Sleeping with at least one eye and nostril open making sure your not getting burnt alive is a strange feeling.
The moment i got back home from download i ate, showered, washed, and started sleeping to recover. So i have just under 12 months to recover before next years, to this i say bring on the drunks, bands and camping :)
What have I been up to?
It’s been a very long time since my last blog post, I was trying to get into the habit of doing on a week (usually while at work :p). So since my last post I have been manically writing my dissertation and major project – an investigation into implementations of network access control technology, and sitting exams. As well as other more social/fun things:
NUS LGBT Conference 7-9th May
I attended the NUS LGBT conference in Liverpool this year, taking place over the weekend there were various talks, policy meetings and political motions to be passed, as well as socials. I couldn't help but feel like Malcolm tucker wandering around the hotel with my phone and paperwork, because the decor was that horrible parliamentary green. Conference its self was a very long and tiring event starting most mornings at 9 straight into policy debates right up until 8pm, then followed by social events.
This year one of the groups I'm affiliated with - The West Midlands Coalition (Now the Coalition Midlands LGBT) scooped an award for 'LGBT Event of the year' for joint efforts by Birmingham, BCU, Coventry and Warwick LGBT groups to bring together a series of events for LGBT History month (February)
Exams and End of University Celebrations - 26th May
So for those not aware i have been studying a Computer science degree and pending results have just completed my third year. I have managed to survive the long torment of a dissertation and exams which all came to pass with a lovely night out fuelled by alcohol and absinthe. The other day i had my project presentation which considering how little i prepared for i felt remarkably confident about and don't think i have anything to worry about.
Birmingham Pride 2010 - 29-30th May
This was the first year i have been to Birmingham pride, and along with going The Coalition were sponsored by Missing Bar, providing us with a tent and a small bar from where we could host our own student campaign events. Although i did not take part in the parade i watched it from the side lines and found it very interesting and diverse, which is just what we need, to show that the LGBT community are real people with real interests.
I was impressed by the amount of heteronormative couples or straight couples wandering around within the village over the weekend, some even bringing there kids who were happily supporting the LGBT rights movement by wearing badges and just generally having a good time.
I went for both days, the Saturday consisted mainly of wandering around looking at what was going on and later on coming back home to rest, as it was really expensive entry wise to the clubs at night. Sunday was a little more different because I ended up drinking all day, but i met some very good friends and nice people who made the day so much more fun.
On balance it was a good fun weekend, with lots going on for everyone and i will be interested to see what next years is like.
--
Finally the Download Festival - which is in its own blog post, purely because its more recent and I can remember it.
NUS LGBT Conference 7-9th May
I attended the NUS LGBT conference in Liverpool this year, taking place over the weekend there were various talks, policy meetings and political motions to be passed, as well as socials. I couldn't help but feel like Malcolm tucker wandering around the hotel with my phone and paperwork, because the decor was that horrible parliamentary green. Conference its self was a very long and tiring event starting most mornings at 9 straight into policy debates right up until 8pm, then followed by social events.
This year one of the groups I'm affiliated with - The West Midlands Coalition (Now the Coalition Midlands LGBT) scooped an award for 'LGBT Event of the year' for joint efforts by Birmingham, BCU, Coventry and Warwick LGBT groups to bring together a series of events for LGBT History month (February)
Exams and End of University Celebrations - 26th May
So for those not aware i have been studying a Computer science degree and pending results have just completed my third year. I have managed to survive the long torment of a dissertation and exams which all came to pass with a lovely night out fuelled by alcohol and absinthe. The other day i had my project presentation which considering how little i prepared for i felt remarkably confident about and don't think i have anything to worry about.
Birmingham Pride 2010 - 29-30th May
This was the first year i have been to Birmingham pride, and along with going The Coalition were sponsored by Missing Bar, providing us with a tent and a small bar from where we could host our own student campaign events. Although i did not take part in the parade i watched it from the side lines and found it very interesting and diverse, which is just what we need, to show that the LGBT community are real people with real interests.
I was impressed by the amount of heteronormative couples or straight couples wandering around within the village over the weekend, some even bringing there kids who were happily supporting the LGBT rights movement by wearing badges and just generally having a good time.
I went for both days, the Saturday consisted mainly of wandering around looking at what was going on and later on coming back home to rest, as it was really expensive entry wise to the clubs at night. Sunday was a little more different because I ended up drinking all day, but i met some very good friends and nice people who made the day so much more fun.
On balance it was a good fun weekend, with lots going on for everyone and i will be interested to see what next years is like.
--
Finally the Download Festival - which is in its own blog post, purely because its more recent and I can remember it.
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